Journey
by Normryl
Summary: Set in Season One. Dr Cox goes on a journey through some tough times. Part three Moving On.
1. Over

**Title: Journey- Over**

**Summary:** It seems like it's all over for Dr Cox and Jordan. And she can't go out with out taking him down first.  
**Notes:** This is set after the final episode of Season One (My Last Day), when Jordan has dropped the bombshell's on everyone after Perry upsets her and tells her to stir it up. Implied slash undertones. Nothing comes to the surface in this one.  
Part One in a series of stories.

* * *

The door opened.

He knew it would be her.  
Because even though it wasn't the usual time she'd turn up to see him he knew she'd come here to gloat.

Being perfectly honest with himself, he knew that if he spoke to Jordan the way he did she would react exactly how she did. She'd do exactly what he wanted her to do because despite what she may think, she was easy to manipulate, at least when you knew her as well as he did.

But he knew when he spoke those words to her, the words that he choose carefully to make sure he crushed her about as much as he could without actually calling her names and acting like a mean jerk, he knew that eventually they'd come back and get him.

She'd decided to share all those secrets she was privy too in front of all the people she could hurt the most with them. Most of the things came back to him in some way. His attraction for Carla, his attempts to get promoted by sucking up to Kelso and his ex-wife sleeping with JD.

And she knew she'd hurt him by saying all those things. As was the way with their relationship, whether dating, married or divorced, if one of them hurt the other, they'd sure as hell make them pay.

In a way, her plans had backfired because there was no great fallout. Things had been awkward for a while but eventually all the bridges had been re-built, at least as well as they were before. When JD was trying to clear the air with everyone, Carla had told Perry he was still in love with Jordan, and he'd lashed out. Maybe the truth hurt a little too much with that one because they'd tried and failed already. Nothing had changed, Perry just wasn't getting regular sex now. In some ways, he knew there would be part of him that would always love Jordan, but there wasn't enough of that man left any more.

He'd seen the look on Jordan's face when she'd seen him at the hospital, she completely blanked him as she breezed past him, purposely looking gorgeous just to rub salt in the wounds. And it had worked. But Carla talked to him. Made him feel better just by changing the subject. And when Jordan had walked past a little later and he and Carla were happily talking, he knew he'd pay for it.

That was why she was here now. She'd come to make sure he was miserable.

He didn't acknowledge her in anyway, just carried on staring at the TV, even though it was switched off. The glass of scotch still loosely gripped in his hand as he rested it on the couch.

"Don't I even get a hello?" She asked.

He looked across at her, moving his eyes only. "I'm changing the locks."

"Really, 'cause it looks like you're sitting on your ass." Jordan mocked.

He looked back at the TV. Just ignore her, he thought to himself.

"I wanted to talk to you." She said. She knew he didn't want her here, but she didn't care about that. She had some things to tell him and she'd make damn sure she told him how she felt before she left. "I noticed you'd made amends with your little friends at the hospital. And I say good for you. We both know they won't last long, but keep the friends with you until you end up driving them away like you do everyone else in your life."

"Oh I get it, it's the goodbye speech, where you try and make me feel like crap. Well guess what, it's not going to happen."

"Really? You wanna bet? Perry, you know better than to doubt me."

He picked up his glass, finished it off and got up to get another for himself. Still constantly ignoring Jordan. "Okay, fine. Well maybe next time your admiring your manly physique, you should ask yourself why you spend so much time in the gym to buff yourself up and who you're doing it for. And you should probably ask yourself why exactly Nurse Carla is oh-so fond of you, 'but not in that way'. And probably the most important thing you can ask yourself is why you purposely sabotaged our relationship when you know that it could have worked if you'd actually tried. I could have gone to anyone for sex, Perry, but I threw you the rope and you hung yourself with it."

"Goodbye Jordan." Perry said.

Without saying another word, Jordan walked to the door and left Perry alone.  
Alone, with just her words ringing through his head.  
_'Who are you doing it for?'_

_**The End **_


	2. Down Hill

2. Down Hill

Some peoples lives were like roller coasters.  
They had ups and downs. His life had never been up and down. It was more like a straight run with the occasional drop. After the drop, he never got back up again, just carried onwards, on the straight road waiting for the next drop.

Everyone knew they were really over now. When Perry had told his friends that he and Jordan were getting a divorce, it had seemed like it was pretty much over then. He still had feelings for her then which made everything much harder. Now, the feelings were all subsiding, and just the loneliness was there and no of them were there for him. The guys who had cheered the Red Sox on with him to win and had enjoyed his wide screen TV and drank his beer and ate his food could suddenly not be found.

That's when the anger had started. At first he was just a little mad that his friends couldn't be bothered to support him through a tough spot. And as time went on, the feelings grew. He resented the ones that were busy with their married lives and he hated the single ones even more because they were probably having a great time going out and never inviting him.  
He didn't really have friends at work, the closest thing was Carla and even that was a stretch to call her an actual friend. Colleague was closer as they did occasionally go out but not enough to class her as a friend.

He was invited to Carla's birthday party at the bar, by Carla herself, not Turk who was arranging it, which he went to, if only to get himself out of the apartment for one night.

He wished he hadn't gone as it just made him realise what he didn't have- girlfriend or friends. So he just got drunk alone. He stayed out of everyone else's way and just drank.

And when he'd eventually had enough, he staggered out of the bar and made his way home.

No one missed him. No one even noticed he'd gone.

"I've always thought he was a jerk, but at least I thought it was just because he didn't like me." Elliot said, talking to Carla outside the bar.  
Her party was still going inside, but Elliot had seen the look on Carla's face as she watched Dr Cox leave in a drunken mess. He'd not wished her a happy birthday at any point that day, and there was definitely no card or present. If JD or Turk weren't as drunk as they were, Elliot was sure one of them would have noticed Carla's upset as well. "The guys a first class jerk. You should just forget about him." Elliot said, wanting her friend to enjoy her day.

"That's the thing, Elliot. He's not a jerk. I know he has his moments, but what guy doesn't? Normally, he's a nice guy. I see it all the time with him. But lately... I don't know. It's since he split with Jordan. He hates being alone but all he does is make himself more and more alienated to the people who care about him."

"There's not a lot you can do if doesn't want to know you." Elliot sympathised.

"Maybe I should go talk to him." Carla said.

"I don't think any good will come of it, but I know you, you'll do what you think you have to." Elliot shrugged and turned to return to the bar.

"Elliot. I have to do this, he's my friend."

Elliot hesitated for a moment, between going in and talking to Carla. "I know." she said, simply.

He opened the door. He looked wrecked.

"Why did you leave?" Carla demanded from him. She'd worked herself up on her way over here. He was supposed to be her friend. Even with all he'd been through recently, he'd been through harder times before and that had just made them closer.

He didn't answer her. A strange look crossed his features. "Why don't you love me?" He asked, the alcohol making him more direct than usual.

"What?" She replied, shocked by his question.

"What's Ghandi got that I don't?" He looked genuinly puzzled by this.

"This is just the drink talking. I'm going." Carla said. He reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving.

"Just tell me." He said.

"You don't want to get into this, you know you don't really." Carla said.

Almost shaking her, he tried again to get the answers he wanted. "Tell me." His voice grew in volume and aggression.

Carla used her other arm to pry Perry's fingers off her arm. He let her go still waiting for the answer. "He'd never have done this." Carla said, angry. "You leave my party early, you only really care about yourself and you want everything to revolve around you. That's why you're here alone tonight. It's all _your_ fault." Carla couldn't stop her voice sounding full of emotion. She hated that he'd frightened her even though she knew he'd never hurt her, he'd still scared her.

He didn't see the tears in her eyes that gently ran down her face.

He saw nothing. He didn't even see her leave.

"I'll kill him. I swear to God JD, when I see him, I'll kill him." Turk said as he walked towards the hospital.

JD glanced nervously at Turk. He felt a showdown was on the cards. He didn't know what to say. He'd seen Carla when she came back and she was obviously upset. She didn't want to talk about what had happened at first but later on, at home, she'd told Turk everything, who in turn had told JD everything and since then had repeatedly threatened to hurt Dr Cox in some way. JD thought there must have been something more to this whole thing than just a petty argument. They all knew Cox had been drunk when he left the bar and JD had noticed an almost subdued version of the man had been walking these halls recently. Not that he wasn't still threatening everyone, but just he was a lot quieter about everything else. He had hardly berated JD in the last few weeks.  
JD knew he couldn't say anything right in this situation so decided that the best thing to do was say nothing at all.

Walking into the hospital, one of the first people they saw was Dr Kelso. Usually, they wouldn't talk to him out of choice. Today was different.

"Dr Kelso, have you seen Dr Cox, I need to talk to him." Turk said, his voice showing his confidence in what he thought of as a fight for Carla.

Dr Kelso seamlessly glossed over the fact that Turk shouldn't really be needing to see Dr Cox, seeing as one was in medicine the other in surgery and went straight to the facts. "Last time I saw him was in my office, but he shouldn't be there any more."

"Okay, thank you sir." Turk said, about to walk off.

"Turkleton, if it's really important I'd try to find him fast." Kelso said.

"Is his shift about finished?" Turk said looking at his watch to gage how long he had left.

"Nope. He just quit. Oh, and while your here Dr Dorian, I might have a few shifts that you can work to help us out."

JD heard nothing after the word 'quit'.


	3. Moving On

**A/N: I've changed the Journey series slightly by having them all grouped together rather than as seperate stories. **

**3. Moving On**

Carla heard the sound of some one tapping the desk where she was working.

Looking up, she met the dark brown eyes of Jordan Sullivan.

Carla wasn't sure she could plaster a fake smile on her face to greet the lady, so she didn't bother. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I wondered if you could do me a favour." Jordan asked. She held out her left hand, displaying a diamond ring placed on her ring finger.

"Oh." Carla said.

"What I want you to do for me, nurse, is page Dr Cox for me. I don't want him to miss this happy moment of mine." Jordan noticed something flash in Carla's eyes and she looked down.

"I can't do that I'm afraid." She said. She looked up again, the look gone, her eyes displaying the strength she had. "He left."

"He what?" Jordan asked, shocked. Perry wasn't the type to leave. To move on with his life.

"Probably about a month after you left for good." Carla continued.

"Why?" Jordan asked, her tone sounding a little softer than moments ago.

"I don't know, I haven't spoke to him in a while."

"Why?" Jordan repated.

"I don't know. I guess... part of me feels responsible for him leaving.I tried to talk to him before he left but he wouldn't listen."

Jordan shrugged, looking at her ring admiringly. "Never mind. If you do see him ever again, try and mention this for me, huh?" Jordan said.

"Oh, I'm sure to." Carla replied sarcastically.

* * *

It had been a week since Dr Cox had walked out of Sacred Heart. No one had mentioned him or heard from him since. Turk had dropped the anger he'd had, mostly due to Carla being so upset because she felt so guilty.

JD felt weird at the hospital without him being there. None of the others really understood how he felt because none of them look at Dr Cox the way he did. None of them had a mentor nor needed one.

That was why he was there.

The middle of the night and after spending a night drinking at the bar trying to work out why Dr Cox had left and finding no reason, he'd ended up there. Outside his apartment.

He wanted to help. Be there for him. Carla wouldn't go because things between them were too unsettled. And besides from Carla, who else would turn up?

Preparing himself for Dr Cox being incredibly pissed off by JD turning up so late and probably disturbing his sleep, he knocked loudly on the door, loud enough to wake him if he were asleep. He was surprised that the door was opened quickly. No visible emotion passed across Perry's face.

JD suddenly found himself speechless. He looked past Perry and in to the room. There were several large boxes around the place. Looking back to the man in front of him JD knew he must look surprised. "You're moving?"

"Bingo." Cox replied. "Is that it?"

"No, I- can I come in?"

Perry didn't reply, he simply walked away from the door, leaving it open. JD walked through, closing the door behind him. He spotted a paper on the table with several circled properties on it. "Found anywhere yet?" JD asked.

"Not yet. Why are you here?"

JD what he should say. He wanted to be honest, but wasn't sure how Cox would react to the truth. But he decided it was the only way to go. "I'm worried about you. You've just given up on things that I never thought you would."

"The hospital?" Perry supplied.

JD nodded. "I know you're some times a little disgruntled with working there, but I still thought you'd be there."

"It's not just the hospital." Cox said. He stopped wrapping some of the items he was packing away and sat down. "Me and Jordan are through and I don't want to see her walking around the hospital. But, I really just want a fresh start. Somewhere where everyone doesn't know about me and doesn't hate me."

"No one hates you there." JD said.

"You want to go check with Kelso?" Perry replied.

"You know, he won't say it, but he looks a little freaked out. The other residents aren't as good as you and he knows it even if he won't ever admit it."

"It's not just him. There's Carla."

"She doesn't hate you." JD defended. "She's worried but she doesn't know whether she should talk to you or not."

Perry shrugged it off. "And that's it. No one else there gives a crap whether I stay or go."

"That's not true."

"It is. I've been there for years, I've got one friend, and I've cut her off." Perry rubbed a hand across his face. "Anyway, it's done now. I'm going for a fresh start."

"Have you got a new job yet?"

"I've applied for residency director at St Joseph's."

JD felt a sudden surge of happiness that Perry wasn't moving too far away. It was about a 30 minute drive from his apartment.

Silence fell upon the pair and Perry resumed packing.

"You know, I'll miss you at the hospital." JD said.

Perry continued packing like he hadn't heard. "No more safety net."

"That's not it. I'll just miss you." JD realised Perry wasn't going to say anything else. "So, you wanna hand packing?"

Perry sighed, stopping what he was doing. "No, I really wanna go to sleep."

"Okay, I'll get going. But if you need a hand, you got my number."

"I really don't." Cox replied.

"You won't need a hand moving all this stuff?"

"No, I mean I don't have your number."

"Oh." JD replied. "You- you want it."

"Whatever." Cox replied. JD assumed that meant 'Yes'.

JD moved over to the paper with the properties circles and scribbled the number down on the page. "Don't lose it."

Cox moved over to the door, opening it. "Goodnight, JD."


End file.
